"The story so far"...the Catalyst: Finding My Center
I've replayed our story countless times, searching for a different ending, a different path I could have taken. Yet, each time I do, I come to the same conclusion: the way things unfolded was the only way they could. I know it was messy and it must have seemed heartless, but that was never my intention. The truth is, I never stopped loving you. How could I? You were the most important person in my life, and in many ways, that was the root of my struggle. I needed to change and grow, and I had to do it on my own. Leaving you, as painful as it was, was the only way forward for us both.
When we met, we were two wild, impressionable kids. But I was carrying a lifetime of bad programming, living with a forced perspective that contradicted my deepest truths. You were the catalyst who broke through those walls I'd built. You pushed me out of my comfort zone and showed me how good life could be if I trusted myself instead of the outside world. You knew me better than anyone, even now. You were always trying to bring me out of my shell, and you often succeeded. What you didn't know was the silent war I was fighting inside, battling everything I had ever been taught. I'd shut down at times, not because of you, but because I was trapped in a mental prison of my own making. You did everything right, and I still couldn't break free.
In the years that followed, there hasn't been a day you haven't crossed my mind. The memories of our time together are mixed with the silent pain I carried. I was always struggling just to be present. Eventually, I started listening to the quiet, guiding voice inside—the one that had been there all along, often drowned out by doubt and fear. As I began to trust it, things became clearer. I finally had a plan: to work on myself and return to you. But life has a way of changing our course. There were detours and roadblocks, but I finally found my center and learned to trust my own flow.
Nearly 20 years later, I'm a better person for it. I've found the truth I was seeking for so long, and you were a huge part of that journey. You taught me that life is open, free, and without limitations. The love, time, understanding, and patience you gave me helped shape the person I am today—present, inspired, and positive. For that, I will always love you, and you will always hold a special place in my heart.
love always,
adam
